Every time I experience disappointments, I feel extremely overwhelmed by a range of emotions. And more times than not, I tend to withdraw myself from others. Even though I tell myself I will never feel this way again, the acknowledgement that disappointments come and go is very important. I have learned to accept and understand that it is a part of life. It tends to rip me to pieces and question myself, but I found a few key things that help me deal with disappointments. In no particular order, I have listed them and perhaps you can try them as well.
- Learn to Trust/ Believe in God’s Plan. We have to trust and believe that God’s timing is perfect and that he is in absolute control. He is working out a plan that is bigger than you and I. We have to trust that this thing had to happen to us in order to strengthen us. Everything we have been through has been used to build our faith and to position us for the great accomplishment. Remember Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future”. Therefore trusting his plan should be made easier.
- Pray. When dealing with disappointment we may find ourselves overwhelmed with different emotions. In those moments it is hard to focus our hearts and minds. However, we must never lose focus in knowing that there is a supreme power that rules in our lives. Leading and guiding our every footstep. Why consult the guidance of others, who may have life experiences, but ultimately cannot guide our life. Therefore, we must remember to always pray. He knows our heart and thoughts. He understands. The father has sent back the comforter to lead and guide us.
- Let It Out. We often find ourselves, during moments of hurt and pain, attempting to smile to mask the pain. We don’t want others to see our pain. However, it is okay to grieve and cry. Grieving is part of the healing process. The reality is, we all grieve in different ways. Some people may experience signs of physical transformations, while others may simply cry. Note that crying is not a sign of weakness, but a release of emotional, mental, or physical frustration. The reality is, in going through this process, you have to learn to be patient with yourself. You may wake up weeks from now grieving about the same disappointment, but it is okay. You need to release the emotions in a non-toxic manner. Don’t ignore the pain because it will just resurface in the most unexpected time. Instead, actively deal with the pain. And don’t beat yourself up because you didn’t realize you weren’t over the hurt yet. I have struggled with this on numerous occasions too. Acknowledge the hurt, retrospectively consider the situation, and move forward. Don’t get stuck in the “should’ve, could’ve, or would’ve” of the situation.
- Listen and Wait. After praying and grieving comes the hardest part of all, listen and wait. One of the symptoms of grief is dealing with fear. Fear will cause us to make decisions that are not always structurally sound or best for us. So in those moments we must remember to listen for that “incline” of what our next step should be. In the process of listening, you will probably have to wait. Wait for the perfect job to open up or for your financial situation to turn around. Most often, we are not able to run away from our problems.
Despite how you may feel today, or even tomorrow, know that it will get better. Everything that happens in our lives happens for a reason. According to Romans 8:28, “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose”. If your love is in the Lord Almighty, know that ALL things, not some or a few, but ALL things are working together for a purpose. Walk in confidence and know that it is working towards your bright future. All the hurt, pain, and shame will reveal the glory of the Lord in your life and his purpose for you.