This a topic that I know all to well that rejection really hurts, but the reality that it could cause more psychological damage than emotional damage is mind blowing. Here are some behavior patterns that are often associated with rejection because it has various effects on our emotions, thinking, and behavior.
Rejection does not respond to reason. When you have been emotionally wounded by a person(s) or situation, reason goes out the window quickly. Consequently, people often say things or do things that they later regret. In the heat of the moment you no longer care about others emotions or well-being. You go into, what I define as, “survival of the fittest” mode. You become so consumed with your feelings and thoughts that everyone is shut out. This is why it is suggested that before reacting to situations you take time to “cool down”. You don’t want to live a life of regret, hurting those who you really care about with the words you say; or even worse, by taking someone’s life.
We can relive and re-experience the pain. If you try to recall a time you felt emotional inadequacy, your mind will be flooded with many of the same feelings you had at the time. The experience of rejection can easily haunt you because we are social butterflies. We lend our lives to interactions with our environment, which consist of hundreds of people on a weekly basis. You don’t forget the embarrassing moment when you weren’t chosen to play on the team, etc. The only way to deal with feelings of rejection is to practice forgiveness.
Rejection destabilizes our “Need to Belong”. If you are like me, you feel a need to belong to a group. Through many experiences I have found that this need decreases dramatically after rejection. This, in some ways, adds to the sting of rejection because you have now rejected the idea that you can be accepted in a group of people: self-esteem significantly decreases. Romantic or “friendship” rejection tends to leave us feeling inadequate and blaming ourselves for the rejection. This type of rejection usually stems from the lack of chemistry between the person(s), lifestyle differences, or wanting different things at different times. However, I found that connecting with those who love me, or reaching out to my closest friends, holds much more value and helps to soothe emotional pain after a rejection. Most importantly, seeking encouragement through the word of God is most beneficial.
Rejection creates surges of anger and aggression. Just when you think you are over the sting of rejection, you wake up one morning infuriated and ready to crush anyone that attempts to say anything constructive to you. When this happens, usually there is a trigger for the anger. Maybe a text or message from the person(s), you see a social media post, or even hear a famous line that the person(s) quoted often. Either way, you cannot afford to sit and harness the anger because it only causes destruction.
Like I said earlier, we have to practice forgiveness if we desire to deal with issues of the heart and mind. Live a limitless and free life!